When Dad Was Sick – Part Two

2015-02-06 22.14.14 (4)I went through Dad’s desk.  He gave me copies he had of all the lab tests, etc., that have been run on him over the years, some MRI result reports.  I would like to get this Dr. Sub’s records also.  Maybe Sacry has those.  I will ask. 

Yesterday I went and talked to Maxine.  She wasn’t very sympathetic when I told her about my fight with Mom.  Not that I necessarily expected her to be.  She said maybe the pain med Dr. C. prescribed that wasn’t effective was because Dad didn’t complain about it loudly enough.  Susan thought that was ridiculous when I told her about it.  Of course, hospice is all about treating pain. 

Last night I talked to Steve and Chris.  Steve suggested putting M & D in an assisted living facility, or at least looking into it.  Chris suggested a hospice house, but now I know there aren’t any around here.   


Last night I talked to Bill.  He does not think much of the idea of having Kevin move in with Mom and Dad.  He thinks I should look into assisted living.  Of course, his idea of taking care of your parents is to put them in a home, because that was the best solution for his mother.  He’s not here and it’s not his family.  Dad wants to stay in the house and I can’t see any reason why that can’t happen.  He doesn’t need to go anywhere and neither does anyone else for that matter.  The relatives can help with driving places and getting food, RX, doctor appts., etc. until we can find someone else to help who we can pay on an as needed basis.  Kevin can afford to pay for help.  He won’t be paying rent here.  I’m sure there’s someone around here who would like a part-time job for which we would pay cash.  They can drive Dad’s car for that matter.  No wear and tear on their own vehicle.  We will ask Tanya, who’s the CNA, if she knows of anyone who would be interested in such a position.  I think if we put the word out around town we will find someone. 

Cathy also called last night.  Don’t I have such sweet and caring friends? 

Cody arrived yesterday.  Dani took him to Fantastic Caverns and to the Fish Hatchery in Branson.  Today they went to Eureka Springs.  Cody seems fine with everything.  We took him to the Dollar Store, the post office and the grocery store.  Last night they walked up to the cemetery. 

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Mom and Me

Yesterday Clem, Lenore, Francis and Jean came over.  They were here for about 2 hours, I think.  Dad sat up with them the whole time.  He didn’t say a whole lot.  Jean, me and Clem and Lenore each had a beer.  Clem and Lenore shared theirs because Lenore was driving.  Then Loretta came over later in the afternoon with some peanut butter cookies she had made.  She said she loves Dani and Dani is so sweet.   


Today Kevin came over and we talked and went for a walk.  We told Mom and Dad that we thought Kevin moving in here was the best solution at the moment.  He can monitor what goes on in the house and dole out pain medication for Dad.  Dad is fine with whatever we want to do.  Mom says it’s fine, but she gets her back up about specifics.  Like she doesn’t want us to rearrange the furniture in the back bedroom.  (Like, why does she care?)  She doesn’t want to get rid of the bed in there because it matches the other furniture and the mattress is good.  The mattress sucks, as anyone who has slept on it will tell you.  But then, the twin beds they’re sleeping on are probably 30 years old as well.   

I take everything in small steps.  People are slow to change.  It’s best not to upset her.  There are enough changes happening that she doesn’t like and doesn’t want to happen.  Moving furniture is something she can object to and control, so let her.  She does not like my interference and ideas, but that’s too bad.  Left to her own devices, nothing would be done because “everything’s fine.”   

Her memory is horrible.  She displays obsessive/compulsive tendencies.  Repeats herself constantly, fusses over everyone constantly, asks the same questions again and again.  Want more tea?  Want more tea?  Do you need more tea?  Bowls for pudding.  These little bowls are for pudding.  Did everyone get a bowl for pudding?  Have some pudding.  Have some pudding.  That’s what the little bowls are for.  Acts like I’ve never done laundry before in my life, that I wouldn’t be able to figure out when to put the soap in. 

#mothers #dementia #dying

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