When Dad Was Sick – Part Nine

2015-02-06 22.14.14 (4)7/8/08 Steve and I had many long conversations including yesterday in the car.  We were discussing his relationships with women.  I told him he didn’t have any respect for women in general.  He said he thinks his problem is something deep inside and he probably needs therapy to get at the root of it.  I did not know that Vicki was married to this guy she was with and she still lives in Bradenton.  She manages an apartment building that her dad owns.  The guy she married is an alcoholic but he worships the ground she walks on.  She and Steve are still in touch.  I told Steve the only sustaining relationship he seems to be able to manage long-term is with his dog.  He loves that dog.  It is about 30 pounds overweight and eats lots of table scraps and very little dog food. 

Kevin came over later and the three of us discussed the medical treatment Dad has been subjected to and what that has led to.  

Now this morning he seems a little perky.  He ate anyway, and now he’s going back to bed.  It must be about 9 a.m. so he’s been up for about an hour.   

Frankly, I can’t wait to get away from my mother.  If she wasn’t here, I’d stay indefinitely and try to help with Dad, but I think it’s past time for me to leave.  I probably should have left today, but situation being what it was/is, I made the best decisions I could with the information I had at the time.  Geez, now I can hear her nagging him about putting his oxygen mask in his nose.  Then she says, “Can I get you anything else right now?”  And he says, “No.”  What he’s probably thinking, or at least what I’m thinking is, yes, can you please go away and leave me alone.  More nagging about the oxygen.  Okay, finally she exits the room.  Country music blares from the radio. 

She went over to take the church bulletin to Loretta and Dad got up and came out and sat in the living room for awhile.  He needs and wants help to get up off the bed or out of a chair now, but he can still walk okay on his own hanging onto walls and chairs or whatever is convenient.  Today I’m optimistic.  Maybe he’ll be able to make that appointment on the 17th.  But that’s 10 days away so who knows. 

Pam Somebody from the Area Agency on Aging is to stop by between 1:30 and 2 today.  This is the agency that’s supposed to send someone out to clean a couple of hours a week for free.  I hope that works out.  I was going to clean the refrigerator out and clean the counters in the kitchen, but Mom seems like she doesn’t want my help with Dad so I’m sort of inclined to not help at all and let somebody else do it.  Maybe Melonie would like that job. 

I forgot to say when we went to Joplin on Friday that we stopped at Home Depot (or did I say this?).  I mentioned Home Depot, but this is about the bathroom hook.  Dad has this series of little plastic hooks on the back of his bathroom door that he hangs his belts and shirt and pants up on.  Last time I was here, or maybe it was the time before, one of the little plastic hooks had broken off and he wanted me to glue it back on with Super Glue, so I did and he was just so thrilled that I did that.  It seemed to mean so much to him to have that hook fixed.  So I had noticed this time that one of the hooks was broken and I didn’t see the little part that had broken off anywhere so I don’t think it could be glued back.  So when I was in HD, I got a package of plastic hooks, thinking I’ll fix that for him and he’ll be surprised.  I got the old hook off just by sliding a butter knife up under it and it popped right off.

The new package said to clean the area with rubbing alcohol and let it dry, so I did that.  I think it was Saturday evening, Dad came out and he had the old piece of the hook in his hand and he wanted to know who got it off.  He ruined the surprise!  I had this plan to have that new hook up there before he even noticed the other one was gone and I told him that.  So I went in and stuck the new hook on the back of his door.  Yay.  Now he has a good hook.  I noticed this morning that his stuff is hanging there and the new hook is in use.  Silly, huh?

#medicine #aging #family


  1. So I’m skimming quickly…I can’t read it all because it brings back stuff…anyway, I’m skimming and I come to this: “Frankly, I can’t wait to get away from my mother.” Whaahaha! I new we were sisters. Do all daughters feel this way? I have no daughters, thank goodness. My mother lives with me. I’m her caregiver.

    • I’ve made my peace with my mother…now. What I didn’t realize at the time I wrote this was she was already showing signs of dementia or Alzheimer’s. Shortly after dad passed, she did indeed end up in assisted living and is now in nursing home care. She and I were never close, but I’m glad when I see her and spend time with her now even though she has no idea who I am. I know she’s still my mother. Ah, families. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.