1. ASPCA sad puppy commercials.
2. Inarticulate political pundits.
3. Comedians who aren’t funny, they’re just mean-spirited. (Calling those whose politics are different from yours nasty names isn’t comedy.)
4. Telemarketers. Here is a partial list of things I don’t need and won’t buy from you: storm shutters, insurance, an air conditioning check up, financial planning.
5. Poorly behaved children. Screaming toddlers, whining pre-schoolers, mopey adolescents and surly teenagers. Hello? Parents? Teach your children some manners. Stop putting up with their disrespectful behavior and stop trying to reason with them when they’re throwing a tantrum. If you need my help, just ask.
6. Women too afraid to sit on a public toilet seat but who don’t mind leaving a sprayof their urine all over it. I now use more paper towels to wipe down the toilet seat than I do to dry my hands, because of these nasty women who can’t be bothered to clean up their own mess. Why, if you’re not going to sit on it anyway, can’t you simply raise the toilet seat before you pee? Just an aside for you paranoid freaks out there, in fifty years of sitting on public toilet seats I’ve never contracted an STD…or anything else.
7. Facebook. I’m kind of over it. Again. Really, how many of those “friends” are your friends? I think instead of calling them “friends” they should be called “people I sort of know and/or might have some sort of relationship with or did at one time.”
8. Tags inside new clothes. What do they make these out of? Sandpaper? Even after I cut them out, the little bit left in the seam irritates my delicate skin. I applaud the clothes manufacturers who simply stamp all the pertinent information on the inside of the garment.
9. Pajamas in public. Seriously, when did we decide this was okay? Although not as prevalent as it was a few years ago, whenever I see a teenage girl wearing a camisole and pajama bottoms I want to pull her aside and explain to her that pj’s are meant to be worn within the confines of one’s own home. Period.
10. Women with boob jobs who insist on showing them off to the entire world with tight, cleavage-revealing clothing. We get it. You spent a lot of money on them and you want to show them off, but this is not like your husband showing off his new Porsche. Follow guidelines in #9 above for appropriate venues in which to expose one’s boobs. Unless you’re a stripper.
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