My Vein, My Blood – 19

11-7-06

I am a genius.  I am wonderful.  I am talented.  God created a beautiful thing when he created me.  He gave me so much talent, so many gifts, and I thank him for each and every one of them.  I have to change.  The best thing I have done recently is that when I start to play Minesweeper or I think I’m going to sit there and play it endlessly, I get up and go journal.  Even if it’s for a short time.  Do you really think there’s anything to “The Secret?”  I guess I’ll find out.  Maybe it’s just a way for the filmmakers to get rich.  But I don’t think it could be just that.  Not and have those successful people who think the same way endorse it.  All I know is what I’m doing, what I’ve been doing isn’t getting me where I want to be so I have to change what I’m doing.  I started to do a vision board a while ago.  Or the box I put stuff in and I stopped doing it.  Why?  Because I thought it was stupid or it wouldn’t work?  But visualization works!  I think that’s a proven theory.  So I should do it.  And I have this recurring thought of setting up a web site and I think I should do that.  Just set it up.  Reserve the domain name.  Gitter done!  These recurring thoughts are probably God’s way of telling me to do something and I ignore HIM.  So I have no one to blame for my lack of “success” except myself.  But don’t I have a lot of what I envisioned for myself?  A home.  A family.  Security.  Not having to work.  Those were old, maybe even sub-conscious dreams but they are reality now.  And I haven’t really had the dream of serious publishing success until fairly recently.  So I can’t say it’s less than what it is.  I may be feeding myself and the universe negative self-talk cancelling out my good intentions.  So I have to stop doing that.  It’s only 8:37 but it feels like it could be 10:30 or something.  I am a genius.  God gave me talent.  I have to let my light shine and be who I am.  I have to be more of what God created me to be.

Goal – bestselling author

Goal –  financial self-sufficiency

Goal –  ability to financially, physically, and emotionally take care of family members when needed

Goal –  better health and physical fitness

Goal –  better use of wit, tongue and intelligence

Thanks you Jesus, God.  Amen.

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